Wednesday, February 23, 2011

OH NO - the big three oh.


February 28, 2011 - Yep, the dreaded 30.  Not sure how I am feeling about all of this...
There is a little fear that I have with this number.  I mean, what does this day have that the day before does not?  Not sure, but I do know that my 20s were short - or long - depending on how you look at it.  When I really analyze all of things that happened during that time, well it was A LOT.  But it passes so quickly and many things changed.  The way that I view life is completely different now - I am older and wiser, with a few more wrinkles (and more to come).  I am also glad that I made it out on the other side (trust me - there were moments).  

There were some really rough times; my father's diagnosis with cancer, my diagnosis with MS, lost loved ones, and the reality that my youth was just a set-up to real life (man I wish I had not complained on all of those late teens/ early 20s stresses - little did I know).

There were also so many amazing times; hiking the Appalachian Trail (with my sister),  meeting my soul-mate and marrying him, becoming a runner-kayaker-climber-hiker-biker- triathlete (huh, when did all that happen?), traveling, graduating college, laughing A LOT, getting my first real job and (not to pat myself on the back) excelling at it.

It is something that I can look back at with little remorse, I have and WILL always say that the choices that I have made only allowed me to become the person I am today.  AND DANG, I am woman hear me roar...I feel confident and ready for the next step...

Wait, do I feel ready? Depending on the moment and the day I am never quite sure of the answer.  Reality is that I have a chronic disease that is likely to hit hard sometime in the next decade - reality is that I will likely lose some more loved ones - reality is that things will happen that I cannot even fathom right now...but I do not want to focus on that.  I want to focus on me and where I am right now!  I am doing pretty well, maybe because I am less emotional about everything that has happened.  Maybe because those life lessons that I experienced in my 20s have allowed me to calm down.  Maybe because I am me and no one else is.  The days that I am down, the days that I am up...only I really experienced them and know what truly they are and mean.  Or do I?

So I will leave you with this quote that I read recently and that just rang true to everything that I am experiencing...
"True wisdom comes to each of us when we realize how little we understand about life, ourselves, and the world around us." - Socrates
Here is to another decade, if God (or whoever the world reign is) allows it.

5 comments:

Lee-Anne said...

Great quote... might use it. Congrats on turning 30! I'm glad I have some life experience now in my 30's... it has brought out inner strength I never knew I had in my 20's.

Bibliotekaren said...

I rather liked turning 30 -- somehow I felt like I'd be a more validated adult if that makes sense. I also think that 30s are a time for coming into oneself.

You've had more curve balls than most at this point in life. I think your 30s will be a powerful decade.

Happy birthday,
Donna

Have Myelin? said...

I'm sorry I'm late with birthday wishes but really... 30 is young! =)

Happy birthday!

Lee-Anne said...

Hey... did you decide to stop writing now you have turned thirty? I hope you are well and just haven't had the time or inclination to write. Cheers and best wishes.

Clare said...

Happy belated birthday.