I have been doing some soul searching lately. Well really, I am almost always looking in, but now I am making some changes. I realize that my resolutions are not as much for the year, as for my sanity & health, so I am going to refer to them as life resolutions. These are items that I will be working on for the rest of my life, not just in the new year.
To start off a little simply:
- Restarting daily yoga. Not only have I stopped in the past year or so, but I have noticed that I am not nearly as flexible or relaxed as I once was. Not sure if this is because of the MS or if I am just a ball of tight muscle from the years of running and soccer, but either way I have struggled lately with my flexibility. I have had a nagging muscle (not sure if it is pulled or what) in my butt that has caused me problems running for the past month. I have been stretching, rolling, sticking, and even sitting on dryer balls to try to get this area loosened up, nothing has worked. Another easy 3 mi run this weekend ended with me barely able to move my right leg forward and that was enough to motivate me to start again.
- Can't change what is happening to me, so must change my outlook. This is true especially with work. Hours, stress, conflicts at work have drained me emotionally. I was to the point of actually hating every hour, minute, second that I was there. Considering that work is a huge part of my life and that I really enjoy what I do, I had to rethink how I was approaching each day and situation. So my focus is to rethink how I let things get to me and also that I need to be more honest with my peers and boss about these items. I am now in my second week of trying this and it has worked out fairly well. Last week I talked to my boss about a co-worker who was dropping the ball on assignments (for an entire semester) that I was forced to pick up the slack. I did not want to call this person out, but I was tired of it wearing me down. I felt that the conversation went well and even if nothing changes, I did what was needed to get the stress off of my shoulders and back on to his. I refuse to pick up his slack anymore. I also have to change my outlook on MS and fertility. I am reminded constantly by the MS community that I should stop trying to figure out when, why and where things are going to happen. Instead just know that things will happen, these items are out of my control and that is that. I have to stop focusing on every numb arm and leg, bout of dizziness, exhaustion, odd-shaped uterus :) ...when it is big, I will address it. For now, this is just my norm.
- Continue to tweak my diet. I have really done well in this past year as you all know from my posts, but there are still some areas to work on. I want to cut out more sugar, which is my addiction. For example, it is easy to snack on some sweet tarts because I know they are gluten & dairy free and they are soooo good. But instead of having a bowl of them at my work desk, instead, I will allow them to be a once in a while treat.