To marathon. or Not

I had it in my head that I wanted to do the AK marathon again this year.  In my mind I am thinking, 'what is the difference between last year and this year except that I have a name for what was happening to me'.   

At the same time there is this fear that I did not have before, the fear that I will get another massive MS attack and that I will hurt myself by training too hard.  I remember the day that my headaches started, I had done a small (3 mi) trail run in which I felt way to overheated and slow for my fitness level.  Was that a sign I was not picking up on, was my body telling me something, did THAT particular trail run cause my MS attack?


Errr!  These are the times that I wish that I could go on pretending that nothing was wrong and wishing that I had never gotten that MS diagnosis.  I do not want it to interfere with the things that I love, MS is so unfair at times.

I guess I will type out my marathon training plan, start it, and hope for the best.  I have until August to decide if I can do it and see if my body is cooperating, that is my deadline for signing up.  Fingers crossed and positive outlook (big girl pants as well), that is all I can really do.

Em & I finishing the AK marathon 9/26/2009 almost 2 months to the day before my diagnosis.