To marathon. or Not

I had it in my head that I wanted to do the AK marathon again this year.  In my mind I am thinking, 'what is the difference between last year and this year except that I have a name for what was happening to me'.   

At the same time there is this fear that I did not have before, the fear that I will get another massive MS attack and that I will hurt myself by training too hard.  I remember the day that my headaches started, I had done a small (3 mi) trail run in which I felt way to overheated and slow for my fitness level.  Was that a sign I was not picking up on, was my body telling me something, did THAT particular trail run cause my MS attack?


Errr!  These are the times that I wish that I could go on pretending that nothing was wrong and wishing that I had never gotten that MS diagnosis.  I do not want it to interfere with the things that I love, MS is so unfair at times.

I guess I will type out my marathon training plan, start it, and hope for the best.  I have until August to decide if I can do it and see if my body is cooperating, that is my deadline for signing up.  Fingers crossed and positive outlook (big girl pants as well), that is all I can really do.

Em & I finishing the AK marathon 9/26/2009 almost 2 months to the day before my diagnosis.

Catching Up

I realize that I have been slacking on my blog. It seems that it is the last thing I think of when working two jobs and just trying to keep training up. I am sure people are rarely reading it these days anyway, but here is an update on my life in the past month.

Work:
Well I have two jobs but not a full-time one yet. I am still working part time at the University of Akron as an Outdoor Adventure Recreation Specialist- in fact I am applying at the Student Rec for a full-time job (wish me luck). I have made it through a phone interview that has now turned into a full day on campus interview. It is down to me and a few others. Nervous excitement is the word that I am using...I have put a lot of hope into getting this job, but I know that may be "putting my eggs into one basket" as the saying goes. I am trying to push that hope to the side and think more logically about it all, but I am a dreamer so the likeliness of that is slim.

My other job is at Cleveland Metroparks, as the Institute of the Great Outdoors Seasonal (very similar to my job at Akron). I really like the job, but there are no full-time positions to try for and the drive up there stinks (especially with rising gas prices). In someways it feels like I am stuck permanently as the great part-time employee that people do not want to get rid of because I work hard and I am paid cheap but I hope that my hard work will pay off at some point. I know P would appreciate some help with the bills, we are very tight now and a full time job would allow some of that stress to leave him. He was amazing to support me through my undergrad, I just want that undergrad to pay off at some point, for him more than me.

Training:
Training has been going well, I feel like I my body is getting back to healthy after the long recovery from the torn meniscus. We are swimming, biking, running, hiking, paddling, etc to better health. At times I feel the irony of life that I enjoy too many pursuits so that I will never be good at just one thing. I cannot sacrifice one thing that I do for another, and that has been my choice. I would be sad to give up just one of them, in fact I find myself taking on even more sports (how many can you do before it becomes too much...we will see).

As for races I have had a season of disappointments. I find that maybe one out of seven turns out OK. Between GI issues, side cramps, and muscle tightness, I just have not been feeling like my old self. It has been frustrating, I am 27 years of age, is my body already deteriorating? I stretch and rest and try hard, why do I feel like my body is giving out on me? Plus the last week of heat almost killed me, I was struggling to breathe and my legs have felt tired. I am not sure what to do about all of that. Hopefully time will start to see some changes.

On a side note, I have decided after two marathon trainings that had to end in injury, that I am training for the Akron Marathon with my dad. For those of you who do not know, he has Leukemia (CLL) now for 3+ years. In that time he has run 5 marathons, 6 half-marathons, and numerous small races. He is not "fast" but he is steady and his mind is tough. I think God is telling me that my first marathon should be with him...maybe that is why my marathon training has never worked out, I needed to experience this with him first. So I will be running the Akron with my father because he is my inspiration. BTW, who runs their first marathon for time anyway? I want him there to pull me along in those last tough miles.


Life:
My life is fairly good, P and I had our four year wedding anniversary a couple weeks ago. I feel blessed to be with someone who loves me so much. He has always made me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world and that has not changed. I now get when people say that you fall more in love with the one you are with. I told him the other day that I love him more than the day that we married, I think that is because in every rough patch we have made it through, we have become even closer because our understanding of each other has only grown. I am thankful that he is in my life.

Air Force Marathon

After a late start on Friday, my father, mother, and I managed to make it in time to pick up our packets at the Air Force Half Marathon. It was seemingly a trip through memory lane. The reason I really wanted to participate in this marathon event was largely due to the fact that my father was a fighter pilot for many years. He retired after many years of duty, but that part of his life and really our whole families lives was never forgotten. Military life was something that we all truly loved; the travel, the planes, the family, it was all part of us. Plus it was really cool to have a father who flew F-15 s at the speed of sound.

We have been away from a military life style now for over 12 years and my father, I believe, has stayed away because he missed it. That being said, a crisp, perfectly clear Saturday morning we headed to Wright Patterson AFB to begin our half marathon. We were greeted by a lone F-15 playing in the sky and it sparked so many stories of my fathers time flying that I felt for a moment that we were back, ready to watch my father take off...I am sure he remembers how to fly.

It was a perfect day for a run. The crisp autumnal air was brisk, but exactly the temperature that you want to run in. The half marathon began at 8:15 with 2000 participants, and we started with a 1000 ft gain in elevation in the first mile. My first mile was 9:30, my second was 9:30, my third mile was 9:45, 4th was 9:45, my fifth was 11:25...oh yeah on a hill coming down my knee began to ache. Dang. I knew that the med tent was coming up, so I made myself slow jog until I found it. A woman quickly wrapped it and I began to limp my way through...she tied the wrap way too lose, so mile 6 16:00. I was getting discouraged, why now on this perfect day for running is my knee hurting so bad. I walked/ran to the next med tent to get the wrap fixed a little tighter and the man there sure wrapped it up. In fact after limping for a half of mile I found that my foot was becoming numb and my muscles behind my knee were feeling tight. So I completely undid the wrap and limped two miles to the next med tent. I felt similar to Goldilocks as this woman wrapped it just right, but my knee would not allow me to run anymore. Thank goodness the field was large enough that I was able to walk the rest of the race and finish. There were tons of walkers, so this made me very comfortable with my decision. Why permanently injure this knee when I have the choice to finish with my limp/walk. My splits were around 20 minutes for the last few miles, I couldn't even walk fast with my knee the way it was. I did stop to stare at the dozens of plane fly bys along the way, why not, I was not making any PR anyway.

Unfortunately, my father and father-in-law were alarmed when I did not show up at my usual pace and they were in a tizzy when I showed up at 3 hours. It all worked out in the end. My father had the best run of the season, and that made my knee injury take a shelf. I was here for him and the reminiscing that occurred made everything worth while. I am sure we will participate in this race every year now, it was a good race, albeit injury.

Hopefully my knee will start to feel better after some time off. I did not play soccer yesterday and I am not going to run or bike until at least Wed. and that will be a short run, just to get the knee ready. Somehow I was deleted from the Buckeye Half Stats (like I did not even run) and this weeks run was crappy. I have the Akron Half Marathon and the Columbus Full to still look forward to, just hope that my knee holds up. So far this running season has been full of disappointments, but I cannot do anything about it now.

Just keep running, running, running...

Laboring Through

Labor Day...another holiday excuse to run a race. This year and last I decided upon the Labor of Love 5 miler as my run choice. It is close to home, a little more of a distance than a 5K, and the proceeds benefit Akron Pregnancy Services. I am trying to incorporate more runs that actually fund raise for charity.

This weekend on Saturday I did a 16 mi run long run and on Sunday I chose to bike 19 mi with Brandon and 10 mi with my mother later on that evening. I tried hard to eat the needed carbs to get myself set for the 5 miler, which in my head was going to be an easy run...I had already run 16 mi this weekend, what is 5 miles. Wrong. I made some bad choices in recovery and I paid for it during the race.

Monday was a beautiful day, not a cloud in the sky and the type of day we live for here in the northeast. I felt a little tired when the alarm went off at 6:30 am but I made myself get up to eat breakfast with enough time to digest it before the run. Soy milk and cereal is the new breakfast of choice, I am trying to eliminate dairy before any big events to see if my stomach likes me a little more. After breakfast a slow 20 minute morning yoga DVD was the key to stretching after my run & spins this weekend.

Pre-race I tried to jog slowly for 10 minutes, I could feel stiffness in my calf but I figured it would release some after a warm up but it still was tight when I began the race. The first two miles of the run were splits of 8:33 and 8:46 (which is good for me) and then at about mile 2.25 on a fairly steep uphill through Akron University, my calf began to cramp. I just kept thinking "You have got to be kidding me. " I had to walk for a couple minutes, massaging my calf as I went. Mile 3 split 11:43 (ouch). I began to slowly jog again, but my calf felt like it had a softball sitting in it, unfortunately this slowed my last to splits to 10:09 and 10:40, and I finished in 49:51, 3 minutes slower than last year and my worst run since the beginning of training this spring.

I watch a lot of really good runners run race after race, long run after long run, without that much trouble. It seems though, that my body needs a little more recovery time than I might like to believe, but at least I found this out on a short run instead of the upcoming half marathons that I am doing and especially for my marathon in October. I have to be smarter about allowing myself the time to heal before any race.

Lesson Learned.

This weekend is a the 9 mile potato stomp on Saturday and the Buckeye Half on Sunday.... and I am only allowing myself a 3 mi run on Wed and a short spin on Thurs. Today I rest. I need it.