Fall semester begins for the last time, at least for me.
U of Akron has seen an increase of 6% this year and it was obvious as I drove around for 15 minutes looking for parking. Of course as these freshman begin, 25% will drop out by the end of the year and that at least leaves me with a parking spot in a few weeks. Sad but true.
I enjoy people watching and as I sat on the lawn and watched freshman frantically search for their classes, I was reminded on how I felt that first day of school. Now, a senior senior, I feel confident that this will all be over for me soon, but that first day was so scary, so overwhelming, which is probably why I could not handle it at 18. Now at 26, I dream of the day I will get that long anticipated diploma. It is within grasp of me now and what is really interesting is that I find myself scared, trepadacious of an oncoming career. Sort of like those freshman wandering around. I have to move on and find my place as a professional, which is scary in its own right.
A couple months ago I had one of those down days. The "blue for no particular reason" days that really suck the happiness from your usual upbeat demeanor. I sat looking at jobs on the computer and scanning possible vacancies in the area...and not one job was found that I could apply for with the credentials I have. If that is not scary I do not know what is. Paul came home to me staring at the computer and I just lost it. I was wondering what the hell I was doing with my life...was there really "hope" that I could make it in this field that was so exclusive? Thank goodness that I married a rational man, he just has this confidence in me that I cannot always find in myself and many times has made it possible for me to try for things that I would not normally go for. He got me calmed down and confident that something would work out...or at least hopeful again.
So here I am, down to the last months of this chapter in my life. Wow!
BTW...I ran 15 miles on Saturday morning, felt pretty good and started at 5:30 am...I might be making these early runs a habit...how funny.